Teens should come with this warning label!! As a Mom, I view myself as involved, concerned, in charge of shaping and molding my kids into whom they are meant to be. There is only one problem. My version of who they should be does not exactly match what they think they should be and become. Oh the foundation is there intact; Godly, kind, trustworthy, loyal, good shoppers, the important things, but the direction they choose in the critical decade from 16-26 years of age is entirely their own.
Despite my best efforts to change that and send them on the path I want for them, they will prevail. As it should be. Yes, you heard me correctly, I have adopted the hands off, spectator role. Ready and able to swoop in at a moments notice should their flight from the nest require a supporting wing. All the same, it’s best to begin the ascent into adulthood alone. Lord knows, I did, and had I listened to my mother, my life would have looked very different. Different, yes, but not my own. That is what makes this part of parenting so very difficult. Their life is their own, even though we have given it to them.
The ultimate gift, as I see it, is to step back, remain steadfast in your support, but allow their choices to be their choices, and their consequences their consequences. We can only hope that at some point, they will come to us and say, “Mom, I understand you now, and love you all the same”